that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
