yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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