You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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