Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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