break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
