don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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