All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
