i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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