she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
