Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
