Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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