she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He better not be in your backpack
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
