His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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