I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
