you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
