Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
