So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
