I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
