question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
