Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
