THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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