i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
