Betty ford says i'm here all night
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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