He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The adults are the big ones right?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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