Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
false alarm, still single
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
