So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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