just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
