I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize