How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
