Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I love you. Go after that dick
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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