No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
