3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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