alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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