margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
