dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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