We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
