dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
