Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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