sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
