the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
