Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
