your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
