You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
