hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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