If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
