she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
