I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
