Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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