she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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