Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
