oh god the rape fog is back!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize