okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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