i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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