whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
