she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
