I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
