That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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