I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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