it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
