what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
