Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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