you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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