WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
